There’s been some tonal shifts here in recent months. Maybe you’ve noticed.
You know when you go to yoga and the instructor asks you to lock in your intention at the beginning? Mine always run the gamut – Chipotle for dinner after (rewards = effective), tight butt, calm, peace. Somehow fixating on that purpose and committing to it makes it happen. Though, yes, Chipotle and a firm ass can send my body a mixed message. Hey, we are who we are. For the past several months, I’ve been locking in my intention every day as many times as it takes.
Strength.
Not at yoga, though. When I wake up. During my walk to work. At 1pm. At 3pm. Before bed. Plotting to be strong, no matter what the day brings. Pushing my definition of strength. Showing strength because the alternative is not pretty. Here’s what I know: I’m stronger than I thought but being strong all the time is hard.
In a few weeks, I will officially be a party of one. My divorce is nearly complete. The logistics of untangling a marriage are crushing and draining even in the most amicable of circumstances. My newfound state of alone is both freeing and frightening. After living a level of sharedness that exists in marriage it is a body shock to be on my own. I laugh at the things that break me. In hindsight, of course. Moving was emotional, though somehow I didn’t shed a tear. Filing for divorce? Uneventful, really. I did, however, lose it after a delivery guy left and I discovered that he had stepped in dog poop and proceeded to cover an entire carpeted staircase with his footprint. And I had a falling out with a tension rod in the shower that I swear shook my soul.
So, strength is my intention. On good days, I feel it. On other days, I need it.
Your raw and honest sentiments are inspiring. We are all afflicted with challenges, but it’s those of us that seek improvement instead of wallowing in devastation that will come out of it better and more capable for the next challenge. Also, never underestimate the power of a firm butt and a good sense of humor. (Look how far it’s gotten Kim Kardashian!)
Rooting for you girl and thank you for this bare all post. I love the specks of emotion and humanity in blogger posts. Makes you all seem less “Goddess-like” and more unequivocally beautiful.
Your unconditional cheerleader! VF
Victoria, life would be less interesting without a few bumps, yes? I do believe that. And I can’t tell you how much your support means. Thank you for the smiles you put on my face! xo
Stay strong pretty lady! Life is an interesting adventure that will certainly stretch and challenge you in the most unexpected ways. Enjoy your new found freedom and the clarity it brings.. Sending you hugs!
PS Hope you got all the dog poop out of the carpet. That stuff is very persistent 🙂
xxoo
Marissa, hugs back! Thank you for the kind words. And, yes, I spent quite some time on that carpet with the Resolve and wet rags. Grrr!
Sending you SO much love, Laurie! xoxo
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Brianna, thank you for that! xo
Such an honest and moving post. I’ve been following you and rarely comment, but want you to know that I’m sending thoughts of strength your way!
Lauren, thank you for your sweet comment. I am taking those thoughts and embracing them! xo
So sorry to hear this! But stay strong! There is a saying that true appreciation for happiness comes from surviving the lowest of the lows and I can personally attest to this having gone through a broken engagement. Wishing it hadn’t happened doesn’t work. Accept it and learn from it. Let me know if you ever need ANYTHING!
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Katherine, I so will. I agree wholeheartedly with your outlook. I can’t look at it as failure…it just is. xo
Wow! Laurie, this is so intense and really beautiful! Thank you for sharing! You are a rockstar! I love that you are taking your yoga practice and applying it to everyday life. You are strong!
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Katie, hugs to you! Thanks for being so sweet, always. Your comments bring a smile to my face!
Perfectly said. And for the record, I would lose it too if there was dog shit all over my staircase.
Jess, for real! That delivery man just had no idea what he did to me!
1. You are a truly fantastic writer. Your last line resonated with me in too many ways, and it’s just something that I know many of us can relate to.
2. You’re a bad bitch. It’s easy to tell you to “Stay strong”, but those words can’t ever sum up the insane roller coaster of emotions that you must be riding on day after day. Just sharing your story with the world, that is a strength I don’t know yet, and I hope one day, I will.
3. You’re a bad bitch – worth repeating! And beautiful. Happy to be following along with 312 2.0 🙂
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Caitlin, girl, you are the baddest! I treasure you – so funny and sweet. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.
Honestly, it’s funny how we fall apart over the “little” things. I’m so proud of you for being so strong, lady.
Let’s do some soul searching/strength finding together soon.
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Tomissa… <3 you, girl
Laurie,
Beautiful post. Wishing I was in Chicago to give you a hug! I recently found your blog and was instantly drawn to it. You’ve done such a lovely job on it and I really admire your dedication to inspiring women through true beauty. It can be hard to create good friendships with real women these days so I’m very grateful to be able to connect and follow along with inspiring individuals like yourself through blogs and social media. A little bit of girl-power can go a long way! Especially through times of change. You’re a total #girlboss and I’m super excited to follow along!
Sending you big smiles from Vancouver 🙂
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Lauren, virtual hugs to you! I’m just trying to keep it real and am so touched and warmed by the genuine support and love I feel in this comment section right now! I cannot even tell you how much it means to me. Girl, you rock. Keep it real in Canada 🙂
Laurie – your blog continues to inspire me day in and out. You’re beautiful on the inside and out and I’m so happy blogging allowed me to meet you. You’re stronger than you know and I wish you the best always.
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Justine, I’m so happy we met. Hugs to you!
I’m so sorry, Laurie. You are an incredible person and you’re on your way to your next big adventure filled with laughter and love. You are stronger than you even realize. Sending you big huge bear hugs, classic 70’s cans of Miller, and dance-offs to Debbie Gibson’s powerful Electric Youth album! 🙂 Much love!
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