Expectations are tricky. We lay them out for ourselves as a way to plan, anticipate and level set our experiences. It’s just one big mind game, really. A constricting one at that. Rather than planning how I think I might feel, I’m just feeling.

And, boy, did I ever feel at theWit.

Let’s see. I expected the Signature Massage at the Spa@theWit to be relaxing. Spoiler: it was. I also expected to wince in pain as the knots in my back got worked. I didn’t; they were actually tame.  What I didn’t expect, but I felt wholeheartedly, was an epic release of pain in the most unexpected place: my legs. We’re talking tears on the table emotion that took me by total surprise. And I know myself enough to recognize that it was more than just physical, though that was very apparent.  Every muscle and tendon was on the defense – tightness and soreness surfaced that I didn’t know was a problem. My body was all, “what have you been doing to me?!” The trace of the hot stones and pressure my therapist applied was nothing short of euphoric. I was smiling through the tears.

In those 50 minutes, I felt the weight of every step I’ve taken these past few months wither away. The steps down the hallway at the courthouse to see the judge who would officially end my marriage. The walk to the alley to take the garbage out (is it BAD if I point out that I completely delegated this task for as long as I can remember?!) Actually, maybe it was the “get low” squats I busted out while dancing at a bar as a single lady for the first time in more than a decade. Or breaking in these heels because a girl wants to feel sexy in a hot pair of shoes (for the record, they’re actually pretty comfortable). There are so many motions and firsts I’m experiencing that every step I’ve taken since August feels heavier. Like I’m a mall walker ready to burn some cals with my strap-on weights. My mom totally had a pair of those, btw.

My point? Opening ourselves up to feeling what we actually need to feel and straying from the confines of our own expectations is when you actually process a moment. Or in my case, months of moments that burrowed in my hamstrings.

I took some time to decompress in The Whisper Room – theWit’s pre- and post-spa oasis with shaved coconut and tea – and thought about how I needed to come back for a massage sooner than later – thank ya very much new PrettyQuick app – and how I’m actually pretty excited to get low on the dance floor again.

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